I'm going to be honest with you. My spiritual health has been severely lacking over the past couple years. I could make an unending list of excuses for reasons why that is, but I won't waste your time. The point is that I've been doing a crappy job of maintaining a relationship with God, and I am sick of it. Things have been bad for so long that I can't even really remember when I last felt filled with God's love or peace. At most, I would feel apathy and at worst, bitterness. And maybe those two should be switched around.
Anyway, I guess I'm writing this as a type of confession. It's so easy to hide spiritual issues, especially when you are surrounded by Christians at home, church, and work (but not work for much longer). It's also hard to talk about it when you can't really identify the main issue. It's not just a simple "I'm struggling with ___. Can you pray for me?" Honestly, I don't know the root of my issue. I don't think I am mad at God, struggling with some big secret sin, or doubting His existence. Maybe I'm just feeling stagnant?
One of my main motivations for wanting to change is the start of friendships with my new co-workers. After a two year gap, I am finally interacting again with people who weren't necessarily raised in the church. It is refreshing! It also brings new challenges of how to "come out" about my faith with them. Does that sound ridiculous? I know it shouldn't be so difficult, but it is! I am very out of practice. And unlike in high school, I now have a solid fear of pushing people away by telling them what I believe. You can go ahead and judge me for that, but I feel pretty strongly that it's a sensitive subject and I want to approach it the right way. I've learned that many people have had some terrible experiences in the church, and they automatically associate Christians with those experiences. I don't want to be another person who pushes them away from God.
I have talked with a couple co-workers about my faith in a general way, mentioning my church and that my husband went to school to be a pastor (thanks for that "in", Toby :] ), but I know more is to follow. Does anyone have examples of GOOD experiences talking about faith with co-workers? How do you avoid awkwardness? I do not want any Bibles ending up shoved down throats.
Maybe I just need to start with getting my own beliefs sorted out. I'm working on it.
Thanks for listening! I will keep you updated as things progress. Have an excellent week.
H
Let me first day I'm not an atheist, more closely to agnostic than anything, but I don't like to worry about labels. I have to say, I thought that nine times out of ten I'm the odd one in the room. I do like to talk about it because I want to hear what others say... lump everyone's ideas together and somewhere in the middle you'll find creation. There is a gentleman I work with, Tom, he's a devout Christian and he likes to talk about it too. Neither of us gets upset or yells it's really a good deal. Now, I don't necessarily believe in Tom's God but I respect the man because I can tell he's actually living what he's learning about being closer to God. He doesn't force his beliefs and he lives what he talks, as I try to do. And that, I respect. I wish more people would share ideas with the intent of having better understanding, not always having to change a mind or be right. I say, be you.
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