Evolution

I don’t have too much news to report, so this blog will likely just be more of the same chatter you’ve heard from me before. However, I noticed that some people DO actually check my blog on a regular basis, so I figured maybe I should give them something to read!

I guess I should share that I am doing a lot better than I was a couple months ago. You may not have been able to tell, but I was in a fairly dark place this winter/spring, and I am so glad it is over. I’m not saying that I wake up each day feeling happy-go-lucky (I mean honestly, does anyone?), but the overall darkness/blues/sadness is gone. I want to say that I am still not fully “myself,” but I have also considered the possibility that I really just have changed. I’m not the same person that I was even three years ago, and I’ve decided that’s okay.

I am currently reading a book about marriage that describes how marriages are always changing, evolving, because individuals are always changing. That is not an idea I have really recognized before, probably because I am not a huge fan of change. I like to think of myself as the person I was when I felt I was at my BEST. My PEAK. Do you know what I mean? (Are you making fun of me because I’m only 25 and talking about already passing my peak? If so, I don’t blame you. I’m sure I will look back on this and laugh at me too.) I think my personal peak was my junior year of college. I had a ton of close friends, I was in a great routine spiritually, I did well in school, and I felt incredibly confident.

But, you know what? Life changes. I’m not that person anymore. I have different (and fewer) friends, I often struggle spiritually, I’m starting a new chapter in school, and I am nowhere near as confident as I was then. And I’m sure all of these things will change again soon! I also have a ton of new wonderful parts of my life that didn’t exist back then, and I definitely would NOT change places with myself if I could. This is who I am now, and it’s time I just accept it.

On a brighter note, I have been trying to seize the day a bit more. Because I can’t just hop on a plane and move to California tomorrow, I’ve decided to try and live it up where I am. I’m constantly looking for events and activities going on in my city to fill my weekends so I don’t end up just sitting on the couch the whole time. So far, that has included some concerts, an outdoor art festival, and two off-Broadway shows (coming up!). It’s been really fun!

I think that’s all for now. Hopefully I didn’t bore you too much with my self-reflection. Thanks for reading!

H

Tick Tock

If I had to sum up my feelings over the past month in one word, it would be restless. No matter how quickly the weeks pass, how the weather changes, or how I spend my free time, I still can’t get past this intense feeling of restlessness. Perhaps part of the reason is because I have quite literally been having some trouble staying asleep at night, so I am lacking quality sleep. Another reason may be because I work a long week, but don’t have a lot going on at either job currently. The hours seem to tick by VERY slowly no matter where I am. And wherever I look, it seems that everyone around me just can’t find enough time in the day. They are so “busy,” “crazy,” and “stressed.” Seriously, I would be all too happy to share some of my hours with them. Then my day could be a little shorter and theirs could be longer – it sounds perfect! ;)

I’m sorry for whining, but I am just wondering: what am I missing? Why am I really feeling so restless? A lot of wonderful things are happening…

1.      It’s [pretty much] summer.

2.      I’m going on vacation in 2 weeks!

3.      I finally found a good church and a small group.

4.      I’m feeling more comfortable in my new job.

5.      I start grad school in less than 3 months.

And yet, the feeling persists.

H

New Music Friday: Track 3

This song sounds like summer. Hopefully, I will get to experience that sometime soon. *Sigh*

Have a great weekend, everyone. :)

H

PS: Anyone else think this band kind of sounds like DC Talk?

Exploring

Since moving to the city, my hubby and I have greatly enjoyed exploring our neighborhood and finding the best views within walking distance. A few weeks ago, we discovered this little dirt path leading off from the sidewalk and into the woods. So obviously, we followed it! Here is what we found...

I love this city.

H

Feeling Cloudy

I lied.
It's not summer. It's not even pre-summer. It's just cold, rainy, cloudy spring. On JUNE 5TH! Dear Minnesota, what did we do wrong? Is God punishing us?

I apologize, because all I really have to say is negative today. This weather is incredibly depressing, and quite honestly, I think we're all depressed along with it. I should be able to take a walk, go to a lake, and enjoy the wonders of this state. But NO. It has been raining almost nonstop for the past 3 weeks. I hate it. Like, really.

I have seriously looked for jobs in California. If I wasn't about to start school, we would be currently apartment hunting on the west coast. There, it is summer A LOT. :) 

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...I'm ready for an adventure.

H

Keep your eyes wide open...for Gotye.

Okay, I realize I might just be very late to the party here, but does everyone already know about Gotye? I mean ASIDE from Somebody That I Used To Know? To be honest, I completely wrote him off as a one-hit-wonder with that single, but I have recently listened to his other music and it is awesome! I was shocked. It's a pretty unique sound, and occasionally I feel like I'm listening to a modern version of The Police. I don't know about you, but I like The Police, so I consider that to be a positive thing. :)

His music videos are quite artistic and entertaining, so I highly suggest checking them out. Also, if you're not too stingy and actually still buy music, I would encourage you to pick up his album Making Mirrors. It's definitely worth the purchase. Highlights from that album are the songs: Easy Way Out, Eyes Wide Open, and Save Me.

Have a great weekend.
H