I know, it’s not exactly the cheeriest of Christmas sayings, and that is because this is not a cheery post. This fall has not been a happy time for me, and now that we’re heading into the Christmas season, I’ve realized it’s going to be difficult to automatically flip some switch to make it all better.
For those of you who don’t know, last month my sister lost her first child, a precious baby boy, seven months in to her pregnancy.
Tragedy. That’s the only word I know that can describe it. I don’t think I’ve ever before experienced something that felt so cruel and unfair. I don’t think I’ve ever asked so many questions and been so utterly confused about why God would allow something to happen. My logical mind is blown, and all I can do is cry.
What’s even harder is that I live 12 hours away from my sister, so I can’t even be there in person to mourn with her. It’s like my husband and I are a little island far away from the rest of my family, and all we can do is wave from a distance while everyone else is together. One good thing about the holidays is that we already had plans to go visit, so we did (and will) get to spend a little time together.
But I ask you: how are we supposed to celebrate when there is so much sadness? How do I even go about my day when my heart is so heavy? I know my family is not the only one to ever experience this, but really, it’s hard to find comfort in the fact that it’s happened before.
So as we move into this holiday season, I guess I am just asking for prayer. For my sister especially, and then for my family as a whole. I pray that somewhere down the line, there is joy (“Joy to the world,” right?), and somehow we will find it again.
H
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