And BOOM, now it's fall.

Hi friends.

I'm sorry it's been so long since I wrote on here. These last two months have been full of activity and change! I don't even really remember the month of August, except that I went on an amazing trip to Washington state to visit a lifelong friend and her husband. We had a wonderful time exploring all the neighborhoods in Seattle and then spent two days in Spokane, where they have been living for the past few years. We had great weather, ate interesting foods, and drank a good amount of coffee and alcohol (not together). :P It was unlike any trip I've taken before, because we didn't make any plans ahead of time and just played each day by ear. It was lovely. Here are a couple pictures from that trip.

Another piece of news from August is that we moved again! We're only living about 15 minutes from our old place, but we had a really bad experience with our landlord this past year, and we decided to move to a more corporate-run apartment complex. I'm liking our new place a lot, and we plan to stay here for at least the next two years. 

Oh, also...I finally started graduate school! This semester I am taking two classes, one online and one on campus, which has worked out really well so far. I'm enjoying both classes and don't feel overwhelmed [yet] with my schedule. I am still working at the hospital three days a week, which gives me a nice balance of time at home and in the office. I have to say that I feel very satisfied with life right now. It has only been a couple of weeks, but working part-time with school was a really positive decision and I am so thankful to have a husband that supports us in a way to make that possible. He is quite the catch. ;)

That's all for now. Enjoy the fall weather, everyone! I hope you are all doing well.

Much love,

H

New Music Friday: Track 4

I have some new jams for you. I just discovered this artist recently by downloading his free music on NoiseTrade (which I am promoting for the thousandth time...). It looks like his EP is still free, so you should definitely go check him out! His name is James Bay and he's from the UK. He has a beautiful, earthy voice that makes me feel all gooey inside. ;) Do I really need to say more?

Happy Friday!
H

Confessions

I'm going to be honest with you. My spiritual health has been severely lacking over the past couple years. I could make an unending list of excuses for reasons why that is, but I won't waste your time. The point is that I've been doing a crappy job of maintaining a relationship with God, and I am sick of it. Things have been bad for so long that I can't even really remember when I last felt filled with God's love or peace. At most, I would feel apathy and at worst, bitterness. And maybe those two should be switched around.

Anyway, I guess I'm writing this as a type of confession. It's so easy to hide spiritual issues, especially when you are surrounded by Christians at home, church, and work (but not work for much longer). It's also hard to talk about it when you can't really identify the main issue. It's not just a simple "I'm struggling with ___. Can you pray for me?" Honestly, I don't know the root of my issue. I don't think I am mad at God, struggling with some big secret sin, or doubting His existence. Maybe I'm just feeling stagnant?

One of my main motivations for wanting to change is the start of friendships with my new co-workers. After a two year gap, I am finally interacting again with people who weren't necessarily raised in the church. It is refreshing! It also brings new challenges of how to "come out" about my faith with them. Does that sound ridiculous? I know it shouldn't be so difficult, but it is! I am very out of practice. And unlike in high school, I now have a solid fear of pushing people away by telling them what I believe. You can go ahead and judge me for that, but I feel pretty strongly that it's a sensitive subject and I want to approach it the right way. I've learned that many people have had some terrible experiences in the church, and they automatically associate Christians with those experiences. I don't want to be another person who pushes them away from God.

I have talked with a couple co-workers about my faith in a general way, mentioning my church and that my husband went to school to be a pastor (thanks for that "in", Toby :] ), but I know more is to follow. Does anyone have examples of GOOD experiences talking about faith with co-workers? How do you avoid awkwardness? I do not want any Bibles ending up shoved down throats.

Maybe I just need to start with getting my own beliefs sorted out. I'm working on it.

Thanks for listening! I will keep you updated as things progress. Have an excellent week.

H

Beachy

Hey there, blogosphere! 
Long time, no update. I'm fairly certain most of you are my Facebook friends, so none of this will be very earth-shattering news. However, it's been awhile and I figured it was time to post a little something again.

First of all, I went on vacation! I spent a week in St. John, US Virgin Islands with my husband, parents, sister, and brother-in-law. It was a wonderful week full of swimming, laying out, eating, snorkeling, beaching, laughing, and stargazing. The trip was a much-needed break from reality, and I greatly enjoyed it! Here's a taste of the scenery.

In other news, I have officially turned in my notice at my old job and my last day is August 9. I have been thinking about it for a long time, and I decided it is really for the best. I have enjoyed working there, but I don't think UGM is a place where I will be able to grow. Now that I have figured out what I want to do with my career, I realized that the organization is nowhere near ready to have someone come in and evaluate their programs. There is a lot more I could say about that, but I won't. I felt really sad about leaving at first, but now, I just feel relief. It's time for me to go.

I am really excited about this next month. I start my grad program in September, but before then, I will just be working three days a week at the hospital. We're planning a trip to Seattle/Spokane for mid-August, which should be really fun! I've never been to that part of the country before. :) 

And one more exciting thing...this fall, I will have 4-DAY WEEKENDS! I CAN'T WAIT! I know the whole reason for doing that is so I can work on school, but I still can't help seeing this as a little vacation. I've only been working full-time for 3.5 years, but still, having a flexible schedule sounds like heaven right now. We'll see if I still think that way in six months... ;)

Well, that's all for now. My life in a nutshell. I hope you all are enjoying the summer! I highly suggest going to the beach. 

Always,

H

Back to the River

I know I've featured this band on my blog before, but I really think they deserve another post. Here is an actual music video of Lily & Madeleine featuring their song, "Back to the River." I love so many things about this song and video, not the least of which is the fact that it's filmed in Indianapolis and rural Indiana -- two places I know well. :) It makes me feel nostalgic for college. I figure any fellow alumni will feel the same.

Enjoy!

H

Evolution

I don’t have too much news to report, so this blog will likely just be more of the same chatter you’ve heard from me before. However, I noticed that some people DO actually check my blog on a regular basis, so I figured maybe I should give them something to read!

I guess I should share that I am doing a lot better than I was a couple months ago. You may not have been able to tell, but I was in a fairly dark place this winter/spring, and I am so glad it is over. I’m not saying that I wake up each day feeling happy-go-lucky (I mean honestly, does anyone?), but the overall darkness/blues/sadness is gone. I want to say that I am still not fully “myself,” but I have also considered the possibility that I really just have changed. I’m not the same person that I was even three years ago, and I’ve decided that’s okay.

I am currently reading a book about marriage that describes how marriages are always changing, evolving, because individuals are always changing. That is not an idea I have really recognized before, probably because I am not a huge fan of change. I like to think of myself as the person I was when I felt I was at my BEST. My PEAK. Do you know what I mean? (Are you making fun of me because I’m only 25 and talking about already passing my peak? If so, I don’t blame you. I’m sure I will look back on this and laugh at me too.) I think my personal peak was my junior year of college. I had a ton of close friends, I was in a great routine spiritually, I did well in school, and I felt incredibly confident.

But, you know what? Life changes. I’m not that person anymore. I have different (and fewer) friends, I often struggle spiritually, I’m starting a new chapter in school, and I am nowhere near as confident as I was then. And I’m sure all of these things will change again soon! I also have a ton of new wonderful parts of my life that didn’t exist back then, and I definitely would NOT change places with myself if I could. This is who I am now, and it’s time I just accept it.

On a brighter note, I have been trying to seize the day a bit more. Because I can’t just hop on a plane and move to California tomorrow, I’ve decided to try and live it up where I am. I’m constantly looking for events and activities going on in my city to fill my weekends so I don’t end up just sitting on the couch the whole time. So far, that has included some concerts, an outdoor art festival, and two off-Broadway shows (coming up!). It’s been really fun!

I think that’s all for now. Hopefully I didn’t bore you too much with my self-reflection. Thanks for reading!

H

Tick Tock

If I had to sum up my feelings over the past month in one word, it would be restless. No matter how quickly the weeks pass, how the weather changes, or how I spend my free time, I still can’t get past this intense feeling of restlessness. Perhaps part of the reason is because I have quite literally been having some trouble staying asleep at night, so I am lacking quality sleep. Another reason may be because I work a long week, but don’t have a lot going on at either job currently. The hours seem to tick by VERY slowly no matter where I am. And wherever I look, it seems that everyone around me just can’t find enough time in the day. They are so “busy,” “crazy,” and “stressed.” Seriously, I would be all too happy to share some of my hours with them. Then my day could be a little shorter and theirs could be longer – it sounds perfect! ;)

I’m sorry for whining, but I am just wondering: what am I missing? Why am I really feeling so restless? A lot of wonderful things are happening…

1.      It’s [pretty much] summer.

2.      I’m going on vacation in 2 weeks!

3.      I finally found a good church and a small group.

4.      I’m feeling more comfortable in my new job.

5.      I start grad school in less than 3 months.

And yet, the feeling persists.

H